Turn Her On: Buy Her Sexy Lingerie

By David Strovny
Sex Education Correspondent - Every Saturday

What's the best way to make your woman feel sexy and attractive? No, it's not by buying her a treadmill; you have to show her that you're still uncontrollably attracted to her in a positive way. Again, not by trying to probe her with your penis at every given opportunity. You guessed it, I'm talking about the roots of romance, namely sexy lingerie.

There is a multitude of things that you can buy her (studded collars and handcuffs don't apply), and show her that everything's coming up roses (or erections as the case may be).

If you're anything like me, you've probably walked into a lingerie store and felt like a baby who's been asked to dissect a nuclear warhead -- oblivious. Well, I got myself some education in women's naughty wear and I am here to teach you the ABC's, or rather 34C's, of sexy lingerie.

don't neglect the negligees

Negligees are basically any item of sexy lingerie that resembles a dress (mini or floor length). Now assuming that your woman is as hot as any woman in the Victoria's Secret catalogues (mine certainly is-n't, but my mistress sure is), your best bet would be to opt for the shorter variety.

The most flattering negligee is the Baby Doll design, which basically starts out tight around the breasts and then opens up (it's usually see-through; yum) and stops right under her buttocks, yet another bone-us.

Another wonderful thing about the Baby Doll design is that many of them are open down the middle starting under the breasts, which in turn, gives "easy access" a whole spanking new meaning. Another hot seller is the Chemise that is basically a silky plain mini dress that drapes her body and ends at her thighs. Oh, I forgot the best part; most of these negligees come with G-string or thong underwear. Can I get a Hallelujah?!?

i wanna be your teddy

Teddies are nice to look at, to say the least. They resemble one-piece, kinky bathing suits, and come in a variety of styles: G-string, see-through, high-cut, and push-up (for breasts, naturally).

The downfall of these eye-catching outfits is that they can sometimes feel like the equivalent of a chastity belt -- they're extremely difficult to take off. Sometimes the clasps close at her vagina, which may sound like quite an appropriate district to be starting the party, but can get quite frustrating.

Your best bet would be to buy one that goes on just like a bathing suit instead. Wax on, wax off. Life is good.

savoury sexy sets

If you're anything like me, your "little man" probably isn't thrilled when your woman removes her outer layer of clothing only to be donning a beige, worn-out bra and white underwear -- and grandma's variety at that.

Perhaps she's just comfortable around you, or maybe she literally has no idea that a thong might drive you to insane proportions. Whatever the case, perhaps it's time you bought her some nice bra and panty sets. She'll appreciate and trust me, you'll alleviate.

There are all kinds of sets you can buy. The bra comes in a variety of styles, but Push-Ups are the yummiest. There's nothing like watching your woman prance around in a cleavage-enhancing bra and a tight, low-cut top.

And for the oblivious men who still don't understand how bra sizes work, the letters (A,B,C,D and for you lucky dogs, DD) connote the size of the breast while the numbers (32, 34, 36, 38) describe the measurements around the back.

Shall we move a little lower, say, down south???

under where?

Then there's the underwear: Thong, G-string, Crotchless ... ah the scrumptious list goes on and on. Remember that although we'd like to ensure that our women basically have a thong plastered to their body virtually every day, sometimes they're not very comfortable. So I suggest that you buy her a really nice bra with a variety of underwear (all the ones mentioned above).

Make sure that the underwear you purchase has cotton lining on the crotch (for hygienic purposes), unless of course, you plan to take it off the instant she puts it on.

If bras aren't your thing and you don't seem to have any luck removing them (I can do it with one hand -- or even my teeth, ha!), why don't you buy her a Camisole instead? These silky tank top-like pieces of clothing are easy to put on, nice to feel up, and even easier to take off.

There are some camisoles that do have bra-like clasps and although they're nice, you're better off buying them if you want to see her do a little dance for you before you slowly ease into your ramification session. You can even pamper her with a Sexy Lace Chemise ... who am I kidding, I meant pamper yourself.

Next to the chemise, another sexy item that would definitely get your blood flowing to the soldier down below is a Bustier (pronounced boo-stee-yay). Yeah, the name might sound complicated, but believe me, this contraption pushes up the breasts, shrinks the waist, and provides that overall hourglass look every woman says she wants.

when in robe...

But silk isn't the only available option; there are also velour, terrycloth, chenille, and thermal knit robes for your lovely lady. Picture wrapping it around her naked body only to get your hands inside and feel your way around. Sounds tasty, doesn't it?

Making sure your woman is comfortable can likely ensure your own comfort. Draping her sexy body in a silky floor length or 3/4 length robe will definitely make her feel like a horny housewife.

And what should she be donning under that robe? Well, preferably nothing, but perhaps she would like to tease you just a little longer with a seductive underwired duo.

know when to hold 'em

Asking her what she wants kind of defeats the purpose and the element of surprise. Try to be considerate; don't show up with a G-string that's two sizes too small and a bra made for Malibu Barbie -- she won't be a happy camper.

Pay attention to her body shape, check the size of her clothes and the styles that she likes. More than the lingerie, women love attentive men who appreciate the female form enough to know what would look good on it. Trust me, I know.

Until next time, watch her put it on, place her in front of the mirror, stand behind her, and slowly render her naked. And remember; shield your soldier before going in.

(This article can also be found at: AskMen.com)